A Lesson in Boundaries
How My Cats Taught Me to Say “No” (Sometimes)
Hello there, fellow adventurers of the everyday! It’s me, Tesie, your local cat wrangler (or perhaps it’s the other way around). Today’s topic: boundaries. You know, those things we humans struggle with—because, deep down, we want to make everyone happy, be everywhere, and do everything. Meanwhile, my two feline companions, Petey and Nelly, have zero reservations about telling me exactly when (and how) I’m overstepping. Let’s dive in.
The Art of the “Paw-Up” Warning
Let’s talk about Nelly for a moment. She is nothing if not regal, which means she does not—and I repeat, does not—tolerate nonsense. If I so much as pick her up incorrectly or try to pet her when she’s in “royalty mode,” she’ll flash me a swift, well-timed paw. It’s not aggressive; it’s just… a reminder that I’m crossing a line.
And there’s a lesson here:
Nelly’s Rule #1: She sets the terms. If I want a cuddle, I’d better wait until she initiates it—or at least read her body language like a well-studied cat linguist. Because once Nelly’s decided she’s done, she is done. Boundaries firmly in place.
In human terms, how often do we say “yes” to social invites, extra work, or even a last-minute favor when our internal battery is flashing “low”? Maybe it’s time we all learned to flash a polite but firm “paw-up” when we’ve hit our limit.
Petey’s Tactical Approach to Personal Space
Petey is a different story altogether—he’s more… cunning. He’ll actively seek attention, rubbing up against my legs or batting at my feet like a flirty tennis player. But the moment he’s had enough? Good luck trying to keep him there. He darts away faster than I can say, “But I haven’t taken enough cat selfies yet!”
Petey’s Rule #2: The right to exit, stage left, is always his. No guilt. No second-guessing. When he’s done, he’s done, and that’s that.
It makes me wonder: how often do I stand in situations or conversations, wanting to exit but feeling compelled to stick around so I don’t seem rude or ungrateful? Petey would be out that door faster than my morning coffee can brew.
Why Saying “No” Is Hard (But Essential)
I used to think “no” was a negative word—too abrupt, too final. But let’s flip the script. Every time Nelly or Petey sets a boundary, it protects their energy. They aren’t being mean or selfish; they’re just taking care of themselves.
Humans vs. Cats: We often mistake saying “no” for being unkind. But in cat-world, a boundary is neutral—just a straightforward, “This is what I need.”
Self-Preservation: Imagine how much calmer we’d be if we only gave when we genuinely wanted—or had the capacity. That’s cat logic at its finest, and it’s actually quite beautiful.
A Real-Life Example: The Yoga Mat Debacle
The other day, I finally unrolled my yoga mat after days—okay, weeks—of procrastination. I started my sun salutation, hoping for some peaceful “me time.” Then Petey sauntered over and plopped himself right in the middle of the mat, giving me that look: “You’re in my space, human.”
I had two choices:
Shuffle around on a postage stamp-sized corner of the mat, contorting myself into half a yoga pose.
Gently but firmly relocate Petey to the couch so I could do the workout I’d planned.
Guess which one I chose? Option 1, of course. (Habits die hard, right?) But five minutes later, I realized I was basically doing yoga on a tile floor while my cat dominated the cushy mat. So I took a deep breath, picked him up, and set him down elsewhere.
Was he miffed? Oh, definitely.
Did he eventually wander off to find a sunbeam? Absolutely.
Did I feel a bit proud for asserting my boundary—my need for that space? You betcha.
Lesson learned: if I can say “no” to my cat (the most offended creature on earth), maybe I can say “no” to a few more things in my human life when it’s warranted.
Pause & Reflect
So, my friend, I leave you with this question:
Where in your life do you need a little more of that “cat-like confidence” to say “no”?
It might be your calendar, those never-ending Zoom calls, or the million and one errands you’ve been juggling. Whatever it is, take a cue from Petey and Nelly: set a boundary, honor it, and give yourself permission to prioritize your energy.
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Until Next Time…
Thank you for curling up with me today (on my terms, of course!). May you channel your inner feline and say “no” a bit more often, with zero guilt and a whole lot of self-love. Because if there’s one thing my cats have taught me, it’s that real freedom comes from feeling empowered to exit when we need to, and to stand our ground when it counts.
Wishing you strong boundaries and even stronger coffee,
Tesie
P.S. If you have any funny tales (or fails) about trying to set boundaries with pets (or people), I’d love to hear them! Hit reply and share your story—let’s learn (and laugh) together.